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accident reports, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
The following quotes taken from the Toronto News on July 26, 1977, are
actual statements from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize
accident details in as few words as possible. Such instances of faulty
writing serve to confirm that incompetency can be highly entertaining.
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1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
don't have.
2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.
3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
5. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did
not see the other car.
6. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and
had an accident.
7. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
8. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
9. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place
where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the
accident.
10. I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found
that I had a fractured skull.
11. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
road when I struck him.
12. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood
of my car.
13. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with
a big mouth.
14. I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.
15. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
16. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my
head through it.
17. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.
18. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before
I hit him.
19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
20. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
21. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
22. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed over the embankment.
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