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OK, we admit it this is a honeytrap. Sorry if your joke is on this website but it brings in a huge amount of S|P|A|M everyday which can then be used as a template to filter e-mails.

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You can however read and enjoy these jokes.

 bored, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes 


                    List of things to do when you're bored

     This List Includes:

        * Things you can do with absolutely nothing
        * Things you can do with very little
        * Things you can do with another person

          The amusement potential for each activity is denoted.

     Things you can do with absolutely nothing

        * Push your eyes for interesting light show

     (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) See a variety of blobs, stars and
     flashes. Try to make out things-is your subconscience trying to send
     you a message? Can you control what you see by pressing different
     areas with different forces? Would it be possible to somehow see the
     same effects on TV?

        * See how long you can hold your breath

     (Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes) Not that much fun, but it sure
     passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal
     best. Some tips: hyperventilate before hand, and stay as still as
     possible. My personal best is 2:00 (exactly).

        * Try to not think about polar bears

     (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) This is especially hard, because by
     trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking
     of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about polar bears
     anyway.

        * Scratch yourself

     (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Go ahead, scratch yourself now.
     Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?


      * Hurt yourself

     (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) What is pain? Why is it unpleasant?
     There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after
     pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in
     pain.

        * Try to swallow your tongue

     (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) There's not much to say about this
     one. It is possible.

        * Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image

     (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) Another great time waster. It takes
     about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is
     then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this
     one with pushing on your eyes.

        * Get yourself as nauseated as possible

     (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Best achieved by looking straight
     up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up.
     This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better"
     effect (see "Hurt Yourself").

     Things you can do with very little

        * See what's in your neighbor's trash

     (Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes) You can learn a lot about people
     by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them.
     Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still
     works, like a VCR.

        * Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent

     (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) Sort of entertaining. Fun to
     pretend the people on the screen are actually talking that way.


      * Call up people who write editorials you disagree with

     (Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes) I'm surprised no one has thought
     of this before. Unleash your fury on the person who had the nerve to
     write a letter like that] I'm pretty sure it doesn't qualify as a
     prank phone call, too.

        * Make prank phone calls

     (Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes) Very entertaining, but requires
     discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but
     getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Even more
     fun if you get a bunch of people on the line using a Wonderphone and
     take turns making the calls. One to get you started off: Call
     McDonalds, try to make reservations.

        * Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you

     (Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes) What would you do if this really
     happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions?
     Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a
     few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you
     would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do
     with people you know.

        * Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff

     (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) To get any benefit out of this one,
     you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build
     up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that
     altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH]]]]]

        * Burn things with a magnifying glass

     (Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes) Ants are always fun to use for
     this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some
     circumstances, can be just as entertaining.

      Things you can do with another person

        * Have a water drinking contest

     (Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes) While the competition is fun, you
     probably won't feel too good afterward. To give your event an old
     western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have
     emptied them.

        * Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around

     (Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes) This works on the "I have the
     feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this
     really work?

        * Have a "Who is less competitive" competition

     (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes) Trying to win at this will make you
     lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at
     all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.

        * Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view

     (Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes) Think about it: your dog has only
     seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for
     all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you
     keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things
     from its point of view, too.

        * Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear

     (Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes) Best done to sleeping people. Added
     challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame
     it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the
     person catches on.

        * Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of
     person's neck

     (Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes) Always a good gag. For an even
     bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all
     for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze
     was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.

		



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