Ross Perot Virus - Activates every component in your system, just
before the whole thing quits.
Mario Cuomo Virus - It would be a great virus, but it refuses to
run.
Oprah winfrey Virus - Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to
80MB, and then slowly expands back up to 200 MB.
AT & T Virus - Every three minutes it tells you what great service
you're getting.
MCI Virus - Every three minutes it tells you that you're paying
too much for the AT & T Virus.
Ted Turner Virus - Colorizes your monochrome monitor.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates and stays resident. It'll
be back.
Dan Quayle Virus - Prevents your system from spawning any child
processes without joining a binary network.
Dan Quayle Virus 2 - Their is sumthing rong with your computer,
ewe just can't figyour out watt.
Government Economist Virus - Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
software says everything is fine.
New World Order Virus - Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of
people really mad just thinking about it.
Federal Bureaucrat Virus - Divides your hard disk into hundreds
of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim
to be the most important part of the computer.
Gallup Virus - 60 % of the PC's infected will lose 38 % of their
data 14 % of the time + or - a 3.5 % margin of error
Terry Randle Virus - Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose
'abort' from the "abort, retry, fail" message.
Texas Virus - Makes sure it's bigger than any other file.
Adam and Eve Virus - Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Michael Jackson Virus - Hard to identify because it is constantly
altering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
Cogressional Virus - The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
Airline Virus - You're in Dallas, but you're data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its
own mother databoard.
PBS Virus - Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Elvis Virus - Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self
destructs, only to resurface again at shopping malls and service stations across
rural America.
Ollie North Virus - Turns your printer into a document shredder.
Sears Virus - Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables,
power supply, and a set of shocks.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus - Nobody can find it.
Congressional Virus - Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously,
but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Kevokrian Virus - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants
to.
Imelda Marcos Virus - Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot
up, then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all on expensive
shoes it purchases through Prodigy.
Star Trek Virus - Invades your system where no virus has ever gone
before.
Health Care Virus - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing
wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.00.
George Bush Virus - It starts by boldly stating: Read my test....no
new files! on the screen, then proceeds to fill up all the free space on your drive
with new files, then blames it on the Congressional Virus.
Cleveland Indian Virus - Makes your 486/50 machine perform like
a 286/AT.
LAPD Virus - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on
your PC and erases them in "self defense."
Chicago Cubs Virus - Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes
in last in the reviews, but you still love it.