The Top 17 Signs You're at a Bad Renaissance Festival
- The castle and village are made entirely of Legos.
- Turkey leg bears striking resemblance to Cocker Spaniel leg.
- Festival activities include "Ye Olde Wet T-Shirt Contest."
- Eight minute drum solo in the middle of "Greensleeves."
- "Belly up to the bar, me lad, for some grilled mahi-mahi and fresh California Roll!"
- Ye Old Glassblower makes nothing but crack pipes.
- The meade is served in a coconut shell with a Fizzy straw.
- Everyone seems to have attended the Kevin Costner School of British Accents.
- Mosh pit follows the wandering minstrels.
- You get charged 5 bucks to take a leak behind Ye Olde Hedge.
- Guillotine exhibit closed due to pending litigation.
- Friar Tuck's pager keeps going off.
- Featured event: "Johnson-Jousting!"
- Disgusting Ogre is merely an unshaved Marlon Brando.
- "Tarry, wench, I prithee! Wouldst thou Macarena?"
- Merlin the Magician's only trick is "Got your nose!"
- Jousting Crips & Bloods.