| Home | | # | A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z |
|
|
| | Please E-mail Cyberslayer.co.uk. |
| | OK, we admit it this is a honeytrap. Sorry if your joke is on this website but it brings in a huge amount of S|P|A|M everyday which can then be used as a template to filter e-mails. |
| | D|O| |N|O|T| |S|E|N|D| |A|N|Y| |E|-|M|A|I|L|S| |T|O| |T|H|I|S| |A|D|D|R|E|S|S| |T|H|E|Y| |W|I|L|L| |A|L|M|O|S|T| |C|E|R|T|A|I|N|L|Y| |B|E| |F|L|A|G|G|E|D| |A|S| |S|P|A|M|.| |
| | You can however read and enjoy these jokes. |
|
Excerpt from the Dartmouth Student Handbook:
Drinkers' Fault Finding Guide
Symptom : Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is
wet.
Fault : Mouth not open when drinking or glass being applied to
wrong part of face.
Solution : Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue
with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is
perfect.
Symptom : Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; beer
unusually pale and clear.
Fault : Glass is empty.
Solution : Find someone who will buy you another pint.
Symptom : Room is spinning.
Fault : Somebody is spinning your barstool.
Solution : Vomit on person doing the spinning.
Symptom : Feet cold and wet.
Fault : Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Solution : Turn glass so that open end is pointing at ceiling.
Symptom : Feet warm and wet.
Fault : Loss of self-control.
Solution : Go and stand beside nearest dog. After a while complain
to its owner about its lack of house training.
Symptom : Lap cool and wet.
Fault : Drooling on yourself.
Solution : Change position so that you are drooling on someone else.
Symptom : Bar blurred.
Fault : You are looking through the bottom of your empty glass.
Solution : Find someone who will buy you another pint.
Symptom : Bar moving.
Fault : You are being carried out.
Solution : Find out if you are being taken to another bar. If not
complain loudly that you are being hijacked.
Sympton : Bar looks like a circus.
Fault : You're at a circus.
Solution : Go to a bar.
Symptom : The opposite wall is covered with ceiling tiles and has a
fluorescent strip across it.
Fault : You have fallen over backwards.
Solution : If glass is still full, and no one is standing on your drinking
arm, stay put. If not, get someone to lift you up and lash you to the
bar.
Symptom : Everything has gone dim and you have a mouth full of
teeth and dog-ends.
Fault : You have fallen over forwards.
Solution : Same as for falling over backwards.
Symptom : Everything has gone dim.
Fault : The pub is closing.
Solution : PANIC!!
That's all folks!! Sweet dreams!
Drink PepsiTM The Choice of a New Generation!
|