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OK, we admit it this is a honeytrap. Sorry if your joke is on this website but it brings in a huge amount of S|P|A|M everyday which can then be used as a template to filter e-mails.

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You can however read and enjoy these jokes.

 Why Mozart lost the job, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes 


                        Why Mozart Lost the Job

Dear Dean X:

I write in response to your suggestion of an appointment to our faculty
for a Mr. W. A. Mozart, currently of Vienna, Austria.  While the Music
Department appreciates your interest, faculty are sensitive about their
prerogatives in the selection of new colleagues.

While the list of works and performances that the candidate submitted
is undoubtedly a full one, though not always accurate in the view of
our musicologists, it reflects activity _outside_ education.  Mr.
Mozart does not have an earned doctorate; indeed, very little in the
way of formal training or teaching experience.  There is a good deal of
instability too, evidenced in the resume.  Would he really settle down
in a large state university?  And while we have no church connections,
as chairman I must voice a concern over the incidents with the Arch-
bishop of Salzburg.  They hardly confirm his abilities to be a good
team man.

I know that the strong supporting letter from Mr. Haydn, himself a
successful composer, suggests that some of the candidate's problems are
not really to the heart of the matter.  But Mr. Haydn is writing from a
very special situation.  Esterhazy is a well-funded private institution,
rather a long way from our university, and better able than we are to
accommodate a nonacademic like Mr. Haydn.  Our concern is not just with
the most gifted -- but because state funds are involved, with all who come
to us seeking an education in music.  I have drawn to your attention
many times the budget and space problems in the department.

The musicology faculty did say after the interview that Mr. Mozart
seemed to have little knowledge of music before Bach and Handel.  If he
were only to teach composition, that might not be a serious impediment,
but we expect everyone to be able to assume some of the burden of large
undergraduate survey classes in music history.

The applied faculty were impressed by his piano playing, rather old-
fashioned though some thought it to be.  That he also performed on the
violin and viola seemed for us to be stretching versatility dangerously
thin.

The composition faculty were in the same way skeptical about his
extensive output.  They rightly warn us from their own experience that
to receive many performances is no guarantee of quality, and the senior
professor points out that Mr. Mozart promotes many of these performances
himself.  He has never won the support of a major foundation.

One of my colleagues was present a year or two ago at the premiere of,
I believe, a violin sonata, and he discovered afterwards that Mr. Mozart
had indeed not fully written out the piano part before he played it.
This may be all very well in that world, but it sets a poor example to
students in their assignments, and one can only think with trepidation
of a concerto performance by our student orchestra with Mr. Mozart.

Naturally, he proved to be an entertaining man at dinner and spoke
amusingly of his travels.  It was perhaps significant that he and our
colleagues seemed to have few acquaintances in common.  One lady
colleague was offended by an anecdote our guest told and left early.
We are glad as a faculty to have had the chance to meet the visitor,
but do not see our way to recommending an appointment, and least of all
with tenure.  Our first need, as I have emphasized to your office, is
for a specialist in music education primary methods.

Please give my regards to Mr. Mozart when you write him.  I am sure he
will continue to do well in that very different world he has chosen and
which suites him better, I believe, than higher education.

                                                      Yours Sincerely,
                                                         Y.... Z......
                                                              Chairman
                                                   Department of Music

P.S. Some good news.  Our senior professor of composition tells me
there is now a very good chance that a movement of his concerto will
have its premiere next season.  You will remember that his work was
commissioned by a foundation and won first prize nine years ago.







		



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