Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One to hold the light bulb, and 99 to turn the house.
Q: How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but the light bulb has got to WANT to change.
Q: How many First year Arts Students does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: They can't; it's a second year subject.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to declare that the bulb has violated the socket,
one to secretly wish she *was* the socket, one to secretly wish she was the *bulb*,
one to do it ALL BY HERSELF, and one to say "that's not funny!"
Q: How many fish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, but don't ask how they get in there.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. She just stands there, holding the bulb, and the whole
world revolves around her...
Q:. How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. That's a hardware problem.
Q: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to attach the live wires
to the nearest man's dangly bits.
Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, one to change the bulb and four to make the documentary.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub
with brightly coloured power tools.
Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Twenty! (Well actually one, the other nineteen just stand around
saying, "Yeah, I can do that")
Q: How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four, one to hold the bulb and three to drink enough to make
the room spin.
Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate
to the experience.
Q: How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three: One to write the light bulb removal program, one to write
the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to
make sure that nobody else tries to change the bulb at the same time.
Q: How many straight San Franciscans does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light
bulb?
A: You can unscrew a light bulb.
Q: How many "Real Men" does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. "Real Men" aren't afraid of the dark.
Q: How many "Real Women" does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. A "Real Woman" would have plenty of real men around to
do it.
Q: How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There never *was* any light bulb.
Q: How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 45: One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to
give it a suprising twist at the end.
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb
itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld
of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.
Q: How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Who says it's dark?
Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.
Q: How many technical writers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
A: Just one, provided there's a programmer around to explain how
to do it.
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a dead light bulb?
A: None. They wait for three days and it comes back on by itself!
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.