Things Not To Say Or Do At Your Thesis Defense
- Leave Jehovah's Witness pamphlets scattered about.
- "There will be a short quiz after my presentation..."
- "Professor Robinson, will you marry me?"
- Bring your pet boa.
- Tell ghost stories.
- Do a "show and tell".
- Food fight.
- Challenge a professor to a duel. Slapping him with a glove is optional.
- Halftime show.
- "Duck, duck, duck, duck... GOOSE!"
- "OK - which one of you farted?"
- Rimshot.
- Sell those big foam "We're number #1 (sic)" hands.
- Pass out souvenier matchbooks.
- 3-ring defense.
- "Tag - you're it!"
- Circulate a vicious rumor that the Dead will be opening, making sure that it gets
on the radio stations, and escape during all the commotion.
- Post signs: "Due to a computer error at the Registrar's Office, the original room
is not available, and the defense has been relocated to (Made-up non-existent room
number)"
- Hang a pinata over the table and have a strolling mariachi band.
- Make each professor remove an item of clothing for each question he asks.
- Rent a billboard on the highway proclaiming "Thanks for passing me Professors X,Y,
and Z" - BEFORE your defense happens.
- Have a make-your-own-sundae table during the defense.
- Make committee members wear silly hats.
- Simulate your experiment with a virtual reality system for the spectators.
- Do a soft-shoe routine.