Cyberslayer - Jokes

Things Not To Say Or Do At Your Thesis Defense

1. Leave Jehovah's Witness pamphlets scattered about.
2. "There will be a short quiz after my presentation..."
3. "Professor Robinson, will you marry me?"
4. Bring your pet boa.
5. Tell ghost stories.
6. Do a "show and tell".
7. Food fight.
8. Challenge a professor to a duel. Slapping him with a glove is optional.
9. Halftime show.
10. "Duck, duck, duck, duck... GOOSE!"
11. "OK - which one of you farted?"
12. Rimshot.
13. Sell those big foam "We're number #1 (sic)" hands.
14. Pass out souvenier matchbooks.
15. 3-ring defense.
16. "Tag - you're it!"
17. Circulate a vicious rumor that the Dead will be opening, making sure that it gets on the radio stations, and escape during all the commotion.
18. Post signs: "Due to a computer error at the Registrar's Office, the original room is not available, and the defense has been relocated to (Made-up non-existent room number)"
19. Hang a pinata over the table and have a strolling mariachi band.
20. Make each professor remove an item of clothing for each question he asks.
21. Rent a billboard on the highway proclaiming "Thanks for passing me Professors X,Y, and Z" - BEFORE your defense happens.
22. Have a make-your-own-sundae table during the defense.
23. Make committee members wear silly hats.
24. Simulate your experiment with a virtual reality system for the spectators.
25. Do a soft-shoe routine.