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S Trek top-ten, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
-------------Top Ten Things that Never Happen on Star Trek-----------------
20 Most things that are new or in some way unexpected.
19 Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not
being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three
sentences that anyone says to him.
18 Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy
git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age
for a change.
17 The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort
themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius
Wesley Crusher.
16 Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly
obvious.
15 The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to
another without a serious incident.
14 Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits,
and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.
13 The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where
everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon
revealed to be exactly what it seems.
12 The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence
which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties.
11 The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence
which does not put them on trial.
10 The Enterprise runs into a energy field of a type it has encountered
several times before.
9 The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all
perfectly alright.
8 Some of the crew visits the holodeck and it works properly.
7 The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new lifeform, which later
turns out to be a rather well-known old life-form wearing a funny hat.
6 The crew of the Enterprise is afflicted by a mysterious plague, for which
the only cure can be found in the well-stocked enterpise sick bay.
5 The captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people
which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
4 An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the
Enterprise's computer, only to find it has forgotten to bring the right
leads.
3 A power surge on the bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty
capacitor by the highly trained and competent engineering staff.
2 A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately
some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's
satisfaction.
1 The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in
some way unconnected to the late 20th century.