Once upon a time in a far-away country, there lived a little girl called Red Riding Hood. One day her mother asked her to take a basket of fruit to her Grandmother, who had been ill and lived alone in a cottage in the forest.
It happened that a wolf was lurking in the bushes and overheard the conversation. He decided to take a short-cut to the grandmother's house and get the goodies for himself. The wolf killed the grandmother, then dressed in her nightgown and jumped into bed to await the little girl.
When she arrived, he made several nasty suggestions and then tried to grab her. But, by this time, the child was very frightened and ran screaming from the cottage.
A woodcutter, working nearby, heard her cries and rushed to the rescue. He killed the wolf with his ax, thereby saving Red Riding Hood's life. All the townspeople hurried to the scene and proclaimed the woodcutter a hero.
But, at the inquest, several facts emerged:
The wolf had never been advised of his rights.
The woodcutter had made no warning swings before striking the final blow.
The Civil Liberties Union stressed the point that, although the act of eating Grandma may have been in bad taste, the wolf was only "doing his thing" and thus didn't deserve the death penalty.
The SDS (Students for a Democratic Society -- a radical group from the 1960s) contended that the killing of the grandmother should be considered self-defense since she was over 30 and, therefore, couldn't be taken seriously because the wolf was trying to make love, not war.
Based on these considerations, it was decided there was no valid basis for charges against the wolf. Moreover, the woodcutter was indicted for unaggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Several nights later, the woodcutter's cottage was burned to the ground.
One year from the date of "The Incident At Grandma's," her cottage was made a shrine for the wolf who had bled and died there. All the village officials spoke at the dedication, but it was Red Riding Hood who gave the most touching tribute. She said that, while she had been selfishly grateful for the woodcutter's intervention, she realized in retrospect that he had overreacted. As she knelt and placed a wreath in honor of the brave wolf, there wasn't a dry eye in the whole forest.
[NOTE: This piece of humor is originally attributed to Gene Martin, Chief of Police, Pecos City, Texas. I believe it dates from the mid- to late-1960s.]