Come on, ya gotta believe! I mean, if you can handle flying furry animals, then it's only a small step to the rest! For example:
As admitted, it is possible that a flying reindeer can be found. I would agree that
it would be quite an unusual find, but they might exist.
You've relied on cascading assumptions. For example, you have assumed a uniform
distribution of children across homes. Toronto/Yorkville, or Toronto/Cabbagetown,
or other yuppie nieghborhoods, have probably less than the average (and don't forget
DINK and SINK homes (Double Income No Kids, Single Income No Kids)), while families
with 748 starving children that they keep showing on Vision TV while trying to pick
my pocket would skew that 15% of homes down a few percent.
You've also assumed that each home that has kids would have at least one good kid.
What if anti-selection applies, and homes with good kids tend to have more than
their share of good kids, and other homes have nothing but terrorists in diapers?
Let's drop that number of homes down a few more percent.
Santa would have to FedEx a number of packages ahead of time, since he would not
be able to fly into Air Force bases, or into tower-controlled areas near airports.
He'd get shot at over certain sections of the Middle East. and the no-fly zones
in Iraq, so he'd probably use DHL there. Subtract some more homes.
I just barely passed Physics and only read Stephen Hawking's book once, but I recall
that there is some Einsteinian Theory that says time does strange things as you
move faster. In fact, when you go faster than the speed of light, time runs backward,
if you do a straight line projection, connect the dots and just ignore any singularity
you might find right at the speed of light. And don't say you can't go faster than
the speed of light because I've seen it done on TV. Jean-Luc doesn't have reindeer
but he does have matter-antimatter warp engines and a holodeck and that's good enough
for me. So Santa could go faster than the speed of light, visit all the good children
which are not uniformly distributed by either concentration in each home or by number
of children per household, and get home before he left so he can digest all those
stale cookies and warm milk. Yech!
Aha, you say. Jean-Luc has matter-antimatter warp engines, Santa only has reindeer.
Where does he get the power to move that fast?
-You- calculated the answer! The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion
joules of energy. Per second. Each. This is an ample supply of energy for the maneuvering,
acceleration, etc., that would be required of the loaded sleigh. The reindeer don't
evaporate or incinerate because of this energy, they accelerate. What do you think
they have antlers for, fighting over females? Think of antlers as furry solar arrays
panels.
If that's not enough, wathc the news on the 24th at 11 o'clock. NORAD (which may be one of the few government agencies with more than 3 initials in it's name and therefore it must be more trustworthy than the rest) tracks Santa every year and I've seen radar shots of him approaching my house from the direction of the North Pole. They haven't bombarded him yet, so they must believe too, right?
Jim Mantle, Waterloo Maple Software