OK, we admit it this is a honeytrap. Sorry if your joke is on this website but it brings in a huge amount of S|P|A|M everyday which can then be used as a template to filter e-mails.
Making toast, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
If IBM made toasters...
They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for
overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six
toasters.
If Microsoft made toasters...
Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You
wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it
anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15,000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced
steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up
95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that
let's you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would
secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them.
Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since
most of the good bread only works with their toasters.
If Apple made toasters...
It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier. The
toast would make a little smiley face at you when it popped up, or else it
would get stuck and there would be a little picture of a bomb burned onto
it. If they break, these toasters would require a special set of MacToaster
Tools to even open up. Worldwide market share would only be 5%, but all the
bread in school lunches would be exclusively toasted on the MacToaster.
If The NeXT Corporation made toasters...
It would be a large, perfectly smooth and seamless black cube. Every morning
there would be a piece of toast on top of it. Their service department would
have an unlisted phone number, and the blueprints for the box would be
highly classified government documents. The X-Files would have an episode
about it.
Does DEC still make toasters?...
They made good toasters in the '70s, didn't they?
If Hewlett-Packard made toasters...
They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives
you regular bread.
If Wang made toasters...
Marketing would never agree upon what customers really want or need in a
toaster so millions of dollars would be spent in development and the toaster
would be several years late. Just after release Wang would buy another
company whose toaster ran on NT but would find that they got more orders for
the original.
If Cray made toasters...
They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice
toaster in the world, at least for a couple of years.
If Thinking Machines made toasters...
You would be able to toast 64,000 thousand pieces of bread at the same time.
If Sony made toasters...
Their Sony Toastman, which would be barely larger than the single piece of
bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to your belt.
If Radio Shack made toasters...
The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. You
would be able to buy all the parts to build your own toaster.
If the Franklin Mint made toasters...
Every month, you would receive another lovely hand-crafted piece of your
authentic Civil War pewter toaster.
If Timex made toasters...
They would be cheap and small quartz-crystal wrist toasters that take a
licking and keep on toasting.
If K-Tel sold toasters...
They would not be available in stores, and you would get a free set of Ginsu
knives.
If the NSA made toasters...
Your toaster would have a secret trap door that only the NSA could access in
case they needed to get at your toast for reasons of national security.