OK, we admit it this is a honeytrap. Sorry if your joke is on this website but it brings in a huge amount of S|P|A|M everyday which can then be used as a template to filter e-mails.
Humor: Medical Humor,mildly offensive ethnics, in general, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
You might be in the medical field if....
1. Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal
to you.
2. Your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.
3. You find humor in other people's stupidity.
4. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.
5. Your idea of comforting a child is to place him in a papoose restraint.
6. You believe that "shallow gene pool" should be a diagnosis.
7. You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.
8. You believe chocolate is a food group.
9. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy,
it sure is quite around here".
10. You're out in public and you compliment a stranger on their great
veins.
11. You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the
"Eternal Care Center"
12. You hate working on nights with a full moon.
13. You don't think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is inappropriate for
this patient.
14. You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled "SUICIDE:
Getting it Right the First Time".
15. You have ever had to leave a patients room before laughing
uncontrollably.
16. You think caffeine should be available in IV form.
17. You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual
experience.
18. The most commonly uttered phrase after midnight (for all you ED folks)
is "What changed at 2 am tonight, that made this an emergency after six
months?"
19. You believe that too stupid to live should be a diagnosis.
20. You have ever referred to the ED as a "crap magnet".
21. You believe that the waiting room should be supplied with a Valium
salt lick.
22. You have ever wanted a terrorist to deliver a Ryder truck to the lab.
23. You would like to see a "dumbsh*t profile" listed on the lab slip.
24. When you mention vegetables, you are not referring to a food group.
25. You are totally astounded when someone from the lab speaks
English.
26. You have been exposed to so many x-rays that you say "No, I don't
worry about birth control...I've been irradiated"
27. A patient has told you, "I have no idea how that got stuck up there"
28. You have your weekends all marked off and planned for a year.
29. You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign out AMA.
30. You use your status to get out of speeding tickets.
31. You use the word GOMER in a sentence.
32. You have ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.
33. You threaten "the hose" if your patient won't give you a urine
specimen.
34. After someone tells you how many drinks they've had, your
response is "...and how big were those drinks?"