Universal Truths
Media, TV, Films
- The hell with the Prime Directive - let's kill something!
- Hello. My name is Batman. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
- He's dead, Jim. You take his phaser, I'll get his wallet.
- I hate you, you hate me, let's go out and kill Barney - with a 9-millimeter bullet to the head, let's tell Baby Bop Barney's dead!
- I wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called "brightness" but it doesn't work.
- I canna change the laws of physics, Captain, but I can find ye a loophole
- Gosh, that takes me back ... or forward. That's the trouble with time travel, you never can tell.
Military
- The battle of the Gulf was won on the playing fields of Nintendo
- Friendly fire isn't. Recoiless fires aren't. Suppressive fires won't.
- Mules and donkeys aren't used in war because they're too smart to go on a battlefield.
- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
- When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
Murphy
- Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the problem.
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
- If anything is used to its full potential, it will break.
- If pro is the opposite of con then the opposite of progress must be Congress
- There are no accidents - only plans other people don't tell you about.
- You always find things the first place you look, but not the first time you look there.
Politics
- Foreign aid is the transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
- How come you never see a politician laugh? Because they know what they're getting away with, and if they started laughing, they'd never stop.
- I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible too.
- I wonder if the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress.
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