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How Bad is Your Job?, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
J U S T H O W B A D I S Y O U R J O B ?
By Matt Groening
(From Work is Hell, reprinted without permission)
Place an "x" in each appropriate box.
1. HEALTH
[_] Work with dangerous, noxious chemicals
[_] Work with dangerous, noxious co-workers
2. WORK OVERLOAD
[_] Laughably unrealistic deadlines
[_] Work is piled on until your head explodes
3. WORK UNDERLOAD
[_] Required to look busy when there's nothing to do
[_] Brain is atrophying from idleness
4. TIME PRESSURES
[_] Have to work to fast
[_] Have to work too slow
[_] Have to work like a machine
[_] Don't have time to finish checklist
5. SECURITY
[_] Threat of being fired or laid off dangled over your head
[_] Ridiculous health plan
[_] Preposterous pension plan
[_] Petite financial rewards
6. CO-WORKERS
[_] Unfriendly co-workers
[_] Malicious co-workers
[_] Co-workers even more screwed up than you
7. BOREDOM
[_] Job requires the brains of a slow chimp
[_] Work seems pointless
[_] Job requires tedious tasks to be done over and over and over (you get the
picture) until you want to scream
8. THE BOSS
[_] Says nothing
[_] Stares
[_] Has veins in forehead that throb menacingly
[_] Tells horrible jokes
[_] Takes pleasure in destroying what little enjoyment you get out of life
[_] Breath that could kill 1,000 elves
9. HOPELESSNESS
[_] No hope for promotion
[_] No hope for raise
[_] No hope for learning
[_] No hope for happiness
[_] No hope for escape
10. MENTAL PROBLEMS
[_] Chronic Fatigue
[_] Embittered cynicism
[_] Sneering hatefulness
[_] So apathetic this list barely registers in your benumbed little brain
[_] So close to completely flipping out that this list makes you laugh
mirthlessly and squirm like an itchy bear cub
11. PHYSICAL PROBLEMS
[_] Slumped shoulders
[_] Backache
[_] Mouth dry as a gulch
[_] Puking
[_] Death
12. PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE
Two statements follow. Check the one that most closely describes your
current outlook.
[_] Misery Loves Company
[_] The Company Loves Misery
INTERPRETING YOUR SCORE
- - -- No boxes checked: You may have a good job, but rest assured everyone else
hates you
- - -- Some boxes checked: Perhaps you should try to get a better job.
- - -- All boxes checked: Oh, cheer up.