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First Aid Part II (may offend those who don't like medical ignorance, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
Part two of First Aid.
HEAT High temperature. Pale and Lock up victim in walk-in
EXHAUSTION clammy skin, or hot and freezer for 1-2 hours.
flushed skin. Headache and
weakness. Possible nausea.
INSECT BITES Pain and redness at the Capture insect and mash to
and STINGS site of the sting or bite. paste. Dissolve in one
Possible allergic reactions cup of milk and have victim
such as shock or difficulty drink.
breathing.
NOSEBLEED Profuse bleeding from the Apply tourniquet to
nose. victim's neck.
POISONING Symptoms vary. Throat or Give 1 tbsp lye in ammonia
stomach pains. Mouth burns. solution to flush system.
Vomiting. Drowsiness.
SHOCK Victim pale and weak. Grasp victim firmly by the
Clammy skin, perspiration on shoulders and shake,
upper lip and forehead. shouting, "Snap out of it!"
Pulse rate and breathing
rate are increased.
STROKE Unconscious. Heavy Kiss patient goodbye.
breathing. Apparent It's all over.
weakness in face or limbs on
one side of body. Inability
to speak.
SUNBURN Redness, mild swelling, and Remove reddened skin with
pain. Possible blisters. sandpaper. Soak affected
area in alcohol.
SWALLOWING Dangerous when in air Shout, "Hey, dumbsh*t,
FOREIGN passages. Violent coughing spit that out! Whatsa
BODIES and choking. Bluish facial matter with you!"
discoloration. Breathing
may stop.
TOOTHACHE Pain. Tooth is sensitive Alternate administration of
to hot and cold food and hot coffee and ice cream.
fluids.