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Republicans v. Democrats, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
And you thought you could tell Republicans from Democrats by how they vote.
Not so! Just observe how they act during the holidays......
Republican say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the
Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers
on the street.
Democrats get back at Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them
fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning
When toasting the Holidays, Republicans ask for egg nog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "BUD".
When not in stores, Republicans use a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible tv offers" on late night television.
Democrats do a lot of their shopping at Costco and WalMart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.
Democrats give their children gifts that make a political statement.
Republicans give their children gifts that will keep them out of their hair.
Republican parents have no problem buying their kids toy guns.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each
other with dolls.
Republicans spend hundreds of dollars and hour of work decorating the yard
with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money and drive around at night to enjoy the
scenery.
Democrats favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans favorite Christmas movie is "Diehard".
Republican always take the price tag off any expensive gifts they buy
before wrapping.
Democrats also remove price tags off pricey gifts....
and reposition them them to make sure thy are seen.
Republicans wear wide red ties and green sport jackets during the
festive season.
Democrats do too, all year round.
Most Republicans try, at least once, enclosing indulgent, wretchedly
maudlin form letters about their families in their Christmas Cards.
Public ridicule from Democrats usually discourages them from doing it again.
Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Deck the Halls".
Young Democrats favorite Christmas song is "Grandma Got Runover by a
Reindeer."
Republicans favorite Christmas song is " White Christmas."
Young Republicans favorite Christmas song is "White Christmas".
Cheapskate Republican buy an artificial Christmas tree.
Tightfisted Democrats buy a real tree, but they wait until the week before
Christmas when the lots lower their prices.
Democratic men like to watch football while their wives, girlfriends or
mothers fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Republicans see nothing wrong with letting their children play
"Cowboys and Indians".
Democrats don't either, as long as the Indians get to win.
Republicans first began thinking like Republicans
when they stopped believing in Santa Claus........
Democrats became Democrats because
they never stopped believing in Santa Claus...