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Pick-up Rebuttal Humor, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
PICK-UP REBUTTAL HUMOR
1.) Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."
2.) Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
3.) Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's already one asshole in there."
4.) The most memorable rebuttal to a turn-down (used by the guy who used to
live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance
and she refused:
Man: "Want to Dance?"
Woman: "No, thank you."
Man: "Don't thank me, thank God because somebody asked you."
5.) Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
6.) Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "Female impersonator."
7.) Man: "You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you."
Woman: (tries to ignore him)
Man: "You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that?"
Woman: "Hmmm...you really love sex and travel?"
Man: (nods his head smiling)
Woman: "Then go take a f*ckin' hike!!!"
8.) I like the line I once heard in a movie. This guy was trying to pick up
this girl, and she said to him, "Can you pound a railroad spike through a
2x4 with your hard-on?" To which he merely shudders a negative.
She says, "Well, a girl's gotta have her standards."
9.) Man: "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"
(Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?)
Woman: "Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter."
(I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.)
10.) Q: What sign were you born under?
A: No Parking.
11.) A guy comes up to a girl and tells her some pick-up line.
She grabs his crotch, looks down at it, looks back at
him, and says, "Sorry, I don't see any potential here" and
nonchalantly walks off.
12.) And here's one including the correct snappy return
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized, f*ck off!"
13.) After hearing a pick-up line:
Woman: "I like your approach, now let's see your departure."
14.) A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60's
approach her in a club while she was in college with the line,
"Where have you been all my life?" She took one glance at him and
said, "For the first half of it, I probably wasn't born yet."
15.) A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over
vacation. We were walking down the street and I glanced at
a girl who had just walked by. She turned around and said
to me, "What are you looking at?" My friend, walking next to me
came to the rescue, "He thought you were good looking, but he
was mistaken."
16.) While at college, a few friends were discussing how their
"passes" had been rejected by the intended female recipient.
One of the ladies explained how she handled it once...
When the guy, obviously getting irritated, blurted out
something like, "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the
same reason!" She responded, "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
He immediately blanched, and decided that maybe he would
look someplace else.
17.) The attractive young woman was sitting at the bar, alone,
when the lounge lizard made his move. "I'm here," he breathed
huskily, "to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." The woman turned
and looked at him. Her lips parted and she moistened them
with the tip of her tongue. She leaned toward him with her
hands on her thighs, and her eyes opened to the size of dinner
plates. She paused just a second and then delivered the crusher line,
"You've got a large donkey or Doberman?"
18.) "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."
19.) Man: "Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a
really good time."
Woman: "You know what your problem is? Your mouth is
writing checks that your body can't cash."