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All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power
                -- Ashleigh Brilliant

All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
                -- Jane Wagner

All of the animals except man know that the principal business of life is to
enjoy it.

All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent by
the government in less than a second.
                -- Jim Fiebig

Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
                -- Aesop

Any father who thinks he's all important should remind himself that this
country honors fathers only one day a year while pickles get a whole week.

A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.

A person's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original
dimensions. -- Oliver Wendall Holmes

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations (six if
one went to Harvard).
                -- Edgar R. Fiedler

As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it
wasn't as easy to get programs right as we had thought.  Debugging had
to be discovered.  I can remember the exact instant when I realized
that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in
finding mistakes in my own programs.
                -- Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949

At a recent meeting in Snowmass, Colorado, a participant from Los
Angeles fainted from hyperoxygenation, and we had to hold his head
under the exhaust of a bus until he revived.

Atlanta makes it against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole
or street lamp.

A wise man can see more from a the bottom of a well than a
fool can from a mountain top.

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.

Baruch's Observation:
        If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

Before I got married I had six theories
about bringing up children; now I have
six children and no theories.
                        Lord Rochester

Be self-reliant and your success is assured.

     Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of Hudson
Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate.
Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and
great effort pushing boulders into a single word.
     It can be seen from 10,000 feet, silhouetted against the snow.
Government officials exchanged memos full of circumlocutions (no Latin
equivalent exists) but failed to word an appropriation bill for the
destruction of this cairn, that wouldn't alert the press and embarrass
both Parliament and Party.
     It stands today, a monument to human spirit.  If life exists on other
planets, this may be the first message received from us.
                -- The Realist, November, 1964.