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finals, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
Final Exam
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 2 hours. Begin Immediately.
History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present
day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its social, political,
economic, religious and philisophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and
Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.
Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a
bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until work has been
inspected. You have fifteen minutes.
Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm
them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if
this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special
attention to its effect on the English Parliamentary System. Prove your
thesis.
Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and
drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
Psychology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional
stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the
following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Ramses II, Hammuarabi. Support your
evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references.
It is not necessary to translate.
Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of
the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed
on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili.
In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take
whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to justify your decision.
Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace
the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist
Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing
these effects. Criticize this method from ALL possible points of view, as
demonstrated in your answer to the last question.
Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start
World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects if any.
Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of
your stand.
Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation
of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its
significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
Mathematics: Solve pi to one million places. Show all work.
General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.