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    There were these two guys, and like most guys, they were very
competitve.  Each took great pride in knowing a lot of people; very
important and well-known people.  These guys were named Joe and Harry.
    Harry owned a little bar and Joe would come down there on
occassion to knock back a couple of beers.  One night when Joe was
knocking them down, the TV was on and Dolly Parton was singing a song.
     Harry looked up at the screen and wistfully says, "Its been a
long time since the last time I saw Dolly."
    "You don't know Dolly Parton!" Joe replied.
    "Sure I do!" said Harry.  "We went to the same high school back
in Tennessee and I dated her a few times."  Soon a bet was made and
Joe agreed to pay for a trip to Tennessee if---Harry could prove
Dolly Parton knew him.
    Next night, they were sitting in the audience when Dolly came out
singing her opening number.  Right in the middle of the song, she
stops, looks into the audience and says, "Harry, how are you!"  Then
she pulled him up on stage and introduced him as the guy she used to
go to high school with.  Joe was shocked and ended up paying for the
whole trip.
    Couple of nights later, Joe was in Harry's bar again drinking
beer and watching a Clint Eastwood movie.  Harry comes in and says,
"Man, its been a long time since I last saw Clint."
    "You don't know Clint Eastwood!" Joe responds.
    "Sure I do.  We played college football together."
    Soon the same sort of bet was made and they were on a jet to
Hollywood.
    They found themselves walking onto the set of Clint's latest
movie and right in the middle of filming, Clint stops and yells,
"Harry, how are you?"  Joe is dumbfounded and again pays for the trip.
    A couple of weeks later, Joe is at Harry's again and on TV, Harry
Reasoner is talking about the pope.  Joe thinks---this is one way
I'll be able to get all my money back.
    "Hey, Harry, here's a guy you can't possibly know.  You don't
know the pope!"
    "Sure I do.  I knew him when he was a bishop!"
    Again, the bet was made and they were on their way to Rome to
visit the Vatican.
    As they went into the office, the pope's secretary looked up and
said, "Harry, how are you?"  Joe started to get nervous . . .  Then
the secretary said the pope was about to give a speech and Harry
could go in to see him before the speech, but Joe was not allowed.
Harry turned to Joe and said, "Look, is it okay for me to come out on
the balcony with the pope?  If I do that, will it prove to you that I
know the pope and he knows me?"  Joe agreed and went down into the
audience.
    After a while, the doors to the balcony opened and out stepped
the pope and Harry.  Harry looked down into the crowd and noticed
a commotion.  Then he realized that it was Joe, clutching his heart
and lying on the ground.  He rushed down to his friend and asked,
"Joe!  Joe!  Are you okay?"
    Joe looked up at him and said, "Harry, I could believe you knew
Dolly Parton.  I could even believe you knew Clint Eastwood.  But
when you walked out on the balcony with the pope and I heard these
two nuns behind me ask, 'Who's that with Harry?', I just couldn't
take it anymore!"