OK, we admit it this is a honeytrap. Sorry if your joke is on this website but it brings in a huge amount of S|P|A|M everyday which can then be used as a template to filter e-mails.
"Artsy" people - (may be off. to anyone with talent), CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
Time again for another installment from...
MATT GROENING'S "BIG BOOK OF HELL"
***warning***
Do not read if you are sensitive about your craft. This is all in
good fun (and I didn't write it anyway, so don't get mad at *me*!)
Hey, and I'm an artist too, so don't think I'm picking on anybody. If
you can't laugh at yourself, everybody will without you anyway.
(Ahem) Now, without further adieu, here's
YOUR GUIDE TO MODERN CREATIVE ARTISTIC TYPES
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CREATIVE| DOMINANT |SECONDARY |DISTIN- |HAUNTING |HOW TO
ARTISTIC|PERSONALITY|PERSONALITY |GUISHING |QUESTION |ANNOY THEM
TYPE | TRAIT |TRAITS |FEATURES | |
________|___________|____________|__________|____________|___________
Writer |Self- |Pomposity |Nervous |"Am I just a|Say:"But how
|Absorption |Irritability|twitching.|hack?" |do you make
| |Whining |Bad pos- | |a living?"
| | |ture. | |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Painter |Self- |Delusions of|Spattered |"Should I |Say: It's
|Obsession |Grandeur |pants. |move to New |not finished
| | |Inarticu- |York?" |is it?"
| | |late ex- | |
| | |planations| |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Poet |Self-Pity |Paranoia |Weird lips|"Why does |Be another
| |Bitterness |Sniveling |everyone |poet.
| |Bile |Poverty |avoid me?" |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Perform-|Self- |Alienation. |Vaguely |"Given the |Say: "I saw
ance |Indulgence |Irrational- |punkish |infinite # |something
Artist | |ity. Shame- |look, only|of things I |just like
| |lessness. |with wrin-|could do with|that once
| | |kled skin.|my life, why|on the Gong
| | | |am I standing|Show."
| | | |here on stage|
| | | |slapping meat|
| | | |on my head?" |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Actor |Self- |Self-Doubt |Aura of |"Do I have |Say: "Put
|Devotion | |insincer- |any talent?" |on a few
| | |ity | |pounds,
| | | | |haven't u?"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rock and|Self- |Sleaziness |Sallow |"Where am I?"|Throw beer
Roll |Complacency|Sliminess |complexion| |bottles at
Guitarist| |Smugness |Venereal | |their heads
| | |scabs | |during
| | | | |concerts.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Street |Self- |Compulsion |Scrawny |"Have I no |Punch 'em
Mime |Satisfaction|to pester |bod. Torn |shame?" |in the
| | |leotards. | |mouth.
| | |Impish | |
| | |behavior. | |
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cartoon-|Malicious |Frivolous |Inky fingers|"Will I be |It is
ist |frivolity |maliciousness|Inky shirts|drawing |unwise to
| | |Inky pants |g-d---ed |annoy
| | | |rabbits for|cartoonists
| | | |the rest of|
| | | |my life?" |
----------------------------------------------------------------------