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How to be a cool Asian, CYBERSLAYER.co.uk - jokes
HOW TO BE A COOL ASIAN
1. Wear clothes of two colors: your choice of black or
white.
2. Own an alphanumeric pager with a built in answering
machine.
3. Own a cellular phone.
4. Have only Asian friends.
5. Speak only in Asian languages.
6. Dress as though you're headed for a party when you're
actually going to class.
7. If you're a girl, BE SURE TO STUFF YOUR BRA.
8. If you're a guy, BE SURE TO SOUP UP YOUR ACURA INTEGRA.
9. Smoke even if you don't know how to, especially if
you're with friends.
10. Travel only in droves of 10 and above to parties.
11. Go to all the cool Asian "intercollegiate parties."
12. Refuse to dance to anything but techno music.
13. Whenever in droves of 10 or more Asians, stare
menacingly at all other Asians.
14. Dance in circles at all parties and clubs.
15. If you're a guy, BE SURE TO COP CHEAP FEELS OFF GIRLS
YOU LIKE.
16. If you're a girl, BE SURE TO RUN YOUR FINGERS THROUGH
YOUR HAIR EACH TIME YOU SEE A HOT GUY.
17. Wear only designer labels.
18. Make sure designer labels are extremely visible.
Better yet, make sure that the make is emblazoned on the front of
the apparel.
19. Own a pair of Doc Martens.
20. Be very good at pool. Own a cue stick if you can, even
if you know nothing about them.
21. Make sure your parents are doctors or better yet,
grocery store owners.
22. BELIEVE IN BARN JACKETS, J. CREW, AND TOMMY HILFIGER.
23. Make sure you install every possible option you can in
your car.
24. Own a sports car.
25. Date only someone that a friend of yours has already
dated.
26. Be an officer in the KSA/CSA of your respective school.
27. Be a Christian pretending to actually care about the
religion.
28. Use church as a social ground to meet potential dates.
29. If you're a guy, make sure your hair looks like the
head of a circumsized penis.
30. If you're a girl, make sure your hair is colored with
tinges of brown or red for optimal "coolness."
31. Two words: Manhattan Portage.
32. If you're a guy, don't be embarassed that your penis is
small. Instead, simply make sure that its size is inversely
related to the loudness of your car's engine.
33. If you're a girl, don't be embarassed about your small
chest. Instead, make sure that its size is inversely related
to the amount of make up on your face.
34. If you're a girl, weigh no more than 75 lbs.
35. If you're Korean girl, have eye surgery done so you can
look like a goldfish.
36. Date only the people from your own clique, or even "a
cooler one."
37. If you're in a group of 10 or more friends, stare
menacingly at all interracial couples you see.
38. If you're a guy, start having insecurities and complain
about the "theft" of your women.