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               HOW TO HUNT ELEPHANTS
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           How do you hunt elephants..?

           ENGINEERS hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray
           animals at random, and stopping when any one of them weighs
           within plus or minus 15 percent of any previously observed elephant.

           ECONOMISTS don't hunt elephants, but they believe that if
           elephants are paid enough, they will hunt themselves.

           STATISTICIANS hunt the 1st animal they see N times & call it
           an elephant.

           CONSULTANTS don't hunt elephants, and many have never hunted
           anything at all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise
           those people who do.  Operations research consultants can also
           measure the correlation of hat size and bullet color to the
           efficiency of elephant-hunting strategies, if someone else will
           only identify the elephants.


           COMPUTER SCIENTISTS hunt elephants by excercising Algorithm A:
           1. Go to Africa.
           2. Start at the Cape of Good Hope.
           3. Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent
              alternately east and west.
           4. During each traverse pass,
              a. Catch each animal seen.
              b. Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.
              c. Stop when a match is detected.

           Experienced COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS modify Algorithm A by placing a
           known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will
           terminate.  Assembly language programmers prefer to execute
           Algorithm A on their hands and knees.

           LAWYERS don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around
           arguing about who owns the droppings.  Software lawyers will
           claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of
           one dropping.

           VICE PRESIDENTS of engineering, research, and development try
           hard to hunt elephants, but their staffs are designed to prevent
           it.  When the vice president does get to hunt elephants, the
           staff will try to ensure that all possible elephants are
           completely prehunted before the vice president sees them.  If the
           vice president does see a nonprehunted elephant, the staff will
           (1) compliment the vice president's keen eyesight and (2) enlarge
           itself to prevent any recurrence.

           SENIOR MANAGERS set broad elephant-hunting policy based on the
           assumption that elephants are just like field mice, but with
           deeper voices.

           QUALITY ASSURANCE inspectors ignore the elephants and look for
           mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.

           SALESPEOPLE don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling
           elephants they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the
           season opens.  Software salespeople ship the first thing they
           catch and write up an invoice for an elephant.  Hardware salespeople
           catch rabbits, paint them gray, and sell them as DESKTOP ELEPHANTS.