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OFF THE WIRE
News We Just Couldn't Pass Up

Tidbit from "The A-Z of Non-Sexist Language"; the "Abominable snowman"
should now be called "abominable snow creature."

An Italian late for his plane called police on his cellular telephone to
say there was a bomb on board in order to delay the flight.  Police traced
the call and dialed his number; he answered at the airline check-in desk.

Trying to spruce up its image, the city of New York is handing out bumber
stickers that say, "Instead of giving the finger, lend a hand."

Call it a lucky day.  A Costa Mesa, Calif., man checked his lottery ticket.
One line proclaimed him a $1,984 winner.  Another line produced another
$1,984.  Then the big one: the $8 million prize.

A British gang successfully stole an armored car containing $18.2 million
in cash but then destroyed at least $1.6 million while torching its way
into the vehicle.  Panicked, the six men fled but were captured.

Shortly after arriving at a hospital in Campobasso, Italy, requesting
treatment for "an excess of alcohol," a would-be patient stole an ambulance
and sped off with the sirens wailing.

An elderly Athens man killed one neighbor and wounded another after he
accused them of stealing his cat, which strolled home after the shootings.

Dairy farmers in the Netherlands are trying to train cows to approach an
automatic milking pen when their udders are full.  Reports are that most
cows catch on quite quickly but some "just don't get it."

Compiled by Lynn Mucken, From the Seattle Times, Saturday, May 13, 1995.

OFF THE WIRE
News We Just Couldn't Pass Up

Public cainings of reckless drivers in the Persian Gulf emirate of Ras
al-Khaimah have contributed to a sharp drop in fatalities, a police offical
said.

A former California inmate is suing his jailers because they refused to
provide him dental floss.  He said he got cavities because he could not floss.

Visitors to the embalmed body of Soviet state founder Vladimir Lenin are
being zapped with invisible satanic energy, the Russian newspaper Arguments
and Facts said.

Iranian television pulled an American film off the air after runners in
shorts appeared on screen.

A parishioner lodged a complaint against an Italian priest who interrupted
a funeral service to answer a call on his cellular phone.

Five prostitutes are suing their former madam because she sold their
brothel in northern Brazil.

A Florida suburb averted embarrassment over a semiannual golf tournament
that had featured topless strippers as caddies.  The ladies will wear "cute
little shorts" and halter tops.

A man has been charged with holding up a New Jersey store using a cup of
hot coffee as a weapon.

Two animal lovers are trying to bring the Isaeli army to heel.  They have
asked to be exempted from wearing boots made of leather.

Pittsburgh detectives found it easy to identify a suspect in a restaurant
robbery.  He used his real name and address to apply for a job there only
minutes earlier.

A 16-year-old who was trying to climb onto the roof of a parochial school
was pinned by a 400-pound statue of the Virgin Mary that fell on top of him.

Compiled by Ivan Weiss, From the Seattle Times, Saturday, May 20, 1995.