www.cyberslayer.co.uk

 


 Rebuttal:   (Jim Mantle, Warterloo Maple Software)

 Come on, ya gotta believe! I mean, if you can handle flying furry animals,
 then it's only a small step to the rest.

 For example;

 1)  As admitted, it is possible that a flying reindeer can be found.  I
 would agree that it would be quite an unusual find, but they might exist.

 2)  You've relied on cascading assumptions.  For example, you have assumed a
 uniform distribution of children across homes.  Toronto/Yorkville, or
 Toronto/Cabbagetown, or other yuppie neighbourhoods, have probably less than
 the average (and don't forget the DINK and SINK homes (Double Income No
 Kids, Single Income No Kids )), while the families with 748 starving
 children that they keep showing on Vision TV while trying to pick my pocket
 would skew that 15% of homes down a few percent.

 3)  You've also assumed that each home that has kids would have at least one
 good kid. What if anti-selection applies, and homes with good kids tend to
 have more than their share of good kids, and other homes have nothing except
 terrorists in diapers?  Let's drop that number of homes down a few more
 percent.

 4)  Santa would have to Fedex a number of packages ahead of time, since he
 would not be able to fly into Air Force Bases, or into tower-controlled
 areas near airports.  He's got shot at over certain sections of the Middle
 East, and the no-fly zones in Iraq, so he'd probably use DHL there.
  Subtract some more homes.

 5)  I just barely passed Physics and only read Stephen Hawking's book once,
 but I recall that there is some Einsteinian Theory that says time does
 strange things as you move faster.  In fact, when you go faster than the
 speed of light time runs backward, if you do a straight line projection,
 connect the dots and just ignore any singularity you might find right at the
 speed of light.  And don't say you can't go faster than the speed of light
 because I've seen it done on TV.  Jean-Luc doesn't have reindeer but he does
 have matter-antimatter warp engines and a holodeck that's good enough for
 me.

 So Santa could go faster than light, visit all the good children which are
 not uniformly distributed by either concentration in each home or by number
 of children per household, and get home before he left so he can digest all
 those stale cookies and warm milk.  Yech!

 6) Aha, you say, Jean-Luc has matter-antimatter warp engines, Santa only has
 reindeer, where does he get the power to move that fast!

 You calculated the answer!  The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3
 QUINTILLION joules of energy.  Per second.  Each.  This is an ample supply
 of energy for the maneuvering, acceleration, etc, that would be required of
 the loaded sleigh.  The reindeer don't evaporate or incinerate because of
 this energy, they accelerate.  What do you think they have antlers for,
 fighting over females?  Think of antlers as furry solar array panels.

 7).  If that's not enough, watch the news on the 24th at 11 o'clock.  NORAD
 (which may be one of the few government agencies with more than 3 initials
 in it's name and therefore it must be more trustworthy than the rest) tracks
 Santa every year and I've seen the radar shots of him approaching my house
 from the direction of the North Pole.  They haven't bomarck'd him yet, so
 they must believe too, right?