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These were taken from the newsletter of the Vashon Island, Washington
animal-adoption group.

DOES YOUR CAT OWN YOU?  See how many yes answers apply to you.
- - - Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?
- - - Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?
- - - Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?
- - - Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on your drapes or licks
your butter?
- - - Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?
- - - Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your
cats when you move?
- - - Do you kiss your cat on the whiskers?
- - - Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?
- - - Does your cat sleep on your head?
- - - Do you like it?
- - - Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the
refrigerator?
- - - Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?
- - - Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain
while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?
- - - Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a
bad date?
- - - Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas?
- - - Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?

DOES YOUR DOG OWN YOU?  See how many of these statements apply to you and
your dog.
- - - You believe every dog is a lapdog.
- - - If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog.
- - - You have a picture of your dog in your wallet, but not one of your kids.
- - - You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your dog.
- - - You have your dog talk to your friends on the phone.
- - - You can't fully enjoy yourself without your dog.
- - - No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and
your dog(s).
- - - You spend more on clothes and food for your dog than you do for yourself.
- - - You have no reservations about kissing your dog on the lips, even when
you know where his lips have been.
- - - You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog
in the neighborhood.  You know their names.
- - - You let the neighbor dog sleep over.
- - - You believe there is no such thing as a naughty dog.
- - - Your vet and grooming bills exceed your rent.
- - - When you need someone to talk to, your dog is your first choice.
- - - You sit on the floor if the dog got in the chair first.
- - - You talk to your dog when you are driving.  He answers.
- - - Your dog taught you to fetch and roll over.